Signs is a depressing read, no two ways about it. A lot of the short fiction I write seems to be that way, but I’m actually a very happy person. I often ask Mary Carmel to proof things and usually her responses begins with, “It’s really good, but are you okay?”
The story itself is partly inspired by true events and partly bits pulled from the world around me. The bus from Dublin to Omagh can be unpleasant at the best of times, and yet on at least five or six occasions I’ve deigned to up the ante and endure it with a hangover.
On one of those occasions I remember looking out the window and swearing I’d just seen the same sign twice. To this day, I keep intending to check if there actually are two “Emyvale 4” signs on the road.
This story is actually the one and only piece I’ve had published. I use that word generously; it was accepted for an online short story piece – but I remember the pure joy I had when it was accepted. I think it’s good for sure, but I’m always intrigued to how people read the ending. I’m sure plenty won’t like it, which is fair enough. It isn’t a happy ending.
Sam is, in my reading of it anyway, an alcoholic – albeit a potentially functioning one. His girlfriend has been on the bus for the entirety of the journey and, as alcoholics are wont to do, he ignores her. It is only when he actually hurts her (in this case, physically) that he realises what happened. There is a period of connection and of forgiveness and regret. Then, we’re not sure what happens. Is Sam going up to crash the bus? Probably. That’s what I thought, but I could be wrong.
One last note on this short; I sometimes think that I wrote the bystander at the end a bit too hatefully. It was intended to reflect how easy it is to stand back from alcoholics and think, “This has nothing to do with me”, even when the person is apparently on a completely self destructive path. (That’s why nobody else interferes when Sam is screaming.) But I don’t think that’s entirely fair. The general rule of thumb is help where you can, and remove yourself where you can’t.